Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Dani90

Search for a member

Dani90

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 March 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1967
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Dani90 : just a little bit strange.

Dani90's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 9:22pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:36pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:10am<b>grrrarrrg2</b> - the 11/16/2009 at 10:57am<b>wideh2ogirl</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 4:25pm<b>deathcabforkatyy</b> - the 03/20/2009 at 5:29pm<b>amirn86</b> - the 03/20/2009 at 11:27am

Dani90's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Dani90's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39849) - you deserved it (22461)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33540) - you deserved it (9531)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51049) - you deserved it (15848)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

#8045354
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49620) - you deserved it (3357)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

#7936537
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46314) - you deserved it (2390)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by Kelso (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

#7753235
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29251) - you deserved it (4541)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

#7724225
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36510) - you deserved it (5969)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:20pm - love - by Twilightsux (man) - United States

Today, I realized that the only reason my boyfriend has been coming over to hang out at my house for the past two months is because my little brother has an N64. I have become a third wheel to their mario kart dates. FML

#7699388
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27839) - you deserved it (3907)

On 01/30/2010 at 4:40am - misc - by wowsucks (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, get closer to Jesus camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML

#7668183
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36336) - you deserved it (10039)

On 01/29/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by purple - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my step-sister's for family dinner. Her husband was really drunk and openly hit on me in front of most of my family. I nonchalantly ignored his advances. Later, my step-mom said it would not have happened if I didn't dress like a skank. FML

#7564709
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31386) - you deserved it (5738)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:27am - misc - by irishbabycakes (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

#7442333
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38772) - you deserved it (8027)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

#6976806
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47610) - you deserved it (3722)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my uncle got me a debit card and put $1000 on it for my Christmas present. However, he forgot to activate the card. The receipt with the 14-digit activation code is in the garbage in Colorado. FML

#6945221
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29937) - you deserved it (3600)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:20pm - money - by kraziikayce (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

#6933168
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32962) - you deserved it (11475)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a mall cop tore up my 'Free hugs' sign. FML

#6489895
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35274) - you deserved it (16517)

On 11/28/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Cornbreesha (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: