Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DameGreyWulf

Search for a member

DameGreyWulf

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 October 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9702
  • Number of comments : 2580
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 41 posted

About DameGreyWulf : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY

"Such a pretty lass, as benign as broken glass,
Such a pretty thing, gentle as a scorpion sting,
No one ever would suspect that her mind's completely wrecked."

DameGreyWulf's page activity

Visits<b>Capriciousfox</b> - one hour ago<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 11:39am<b>jerryj</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:06am<b>seninaa</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:23pm<b>rowanrules41</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 8:17pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:09pm<b>hannahsophia</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 5:38pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:46pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:14am<b>winner1611</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 9:04pm<b>bardo264</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 1:10pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:26am<b>Tankkiller308</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 7:40pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:00pm<b>adamwilcockson</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:12pm<b>Agnesia</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:18pm<b>bobman51</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:09pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 4:02pm

DameGreyWulf's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

DameGreyWulf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63058) - you deserved it (16013)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20840) - you deserved it (38135)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58762) - you deserved it (3399)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18168) - you deserved it (44779)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

#4637795
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56530) - you deserved it (4700)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

#4623862
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40323) - you deserved it (9033)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:47am - health - by Ahhwtf (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

#4570183
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60229) - you deserved it (4498)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

#4499384
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67893) - you deserved it (7616)

On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

#4454035
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8882) - you deserved it (64574)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:30pm - love - by Ohfman117 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was opening and sorting mail for my boss as part of my job. One package was delivered to the office instead of his home by mistake, since his house is next door on the same property. I didn't notice until I had opened it. I had to hand my boss an opened box of toys. Kinky ones. FML

#4310988
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37026) - you deserved it (5730)

On 08/05/2009 at 3:36pm - work - by TMI (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML

#4158714
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46896) - you deserved it (4102)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by thesockmancometh (man) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

#4095449
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43469) - you deserved it (7353)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15am - intimacy - by saynotochrispine (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45491) - you deserved it (26247)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57801) - you deserved it (26180)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: