Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DameGreyWulf

Search for a member

DameGreyWulf
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 October 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 9038
  • Number of comments : 2580
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 41 posted

About DameGreyWulf : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY

"Such a pretty lass, as benign as broken glass,
Such a pretty thing, gentle as a scorpion sting,
No one ever would suspect that her mind's completely wrecked."

DameGreyWulf's last visitors

TheFirstHipsterredraven88LOVELEIGH2112FedergirlimbackwiththeshiAngryRussianGuyBailee87imyyBunchieRules

DameGreyWulf's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

DameGreyWulf's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7707) - you deserved it (25614)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML

#6296267
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25688) - you deserved it (5361)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by ZINGER (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (5686)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

#6268890
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36570) - you deserved it (3838)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

#6185536
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22207) - you deserved it (9202)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40018) - you deserved it (4296)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML

#5740729
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23786) - you deserved it (8053)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:48pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Greater London)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45860) - you deserved it (3720)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML

#5605525
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30486) - you deserved it (2517)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to my Russian language class after days of being sick. We must speak in Russian. The professor asked how I felt. I said "like shit." I didn't know the word I used was the verb, not the noun. So I told an awesome prof and class I was "feeling like I was in the process of defacating." FML

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

#5063911
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13479) - you deserved it (39596)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38550) - you deserved it (2622)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

#4912906
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40103) - you deserved it (3179)

On 08/29/2009 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Ned (man) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: