Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DameGreyWulf

Search for a member

DameGreyWulf

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 October 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9618
  • Number of comments : 2580
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 41 posted

About DameGreyWulf : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY

"Such a pretty lass, as benign as broken glass,
Such a pretty thing, gentle as a scorpion sting,
No one ever would suspect that her mind's completely wrecked."

DameGreyWulf's page activity

Visits<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:26am<b>Tankkiller308</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 7:40pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:00pm<b>adamwilcockson</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:12pm<b>Agnesia</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:18pm<b>bobman51</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:09pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 4:02pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 4:18pm<b>BlockOfRedStone</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 9:44pm<b>facelick</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:52pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:55am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:21am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 7:58pm<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 1:41pm<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:49pm<b>nataliewby</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:19pm<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:37pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:55pm

DameGreyWulf's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

DameGreyWulf's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

#6635616
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23601) - you deserved it (9524)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Ballhugger (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22120) - you deserved it (3159)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

#6532769
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28389) - you deserved it (8670)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by SoVeryMonday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

#6532401
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35449) - you deserved it (2777)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

#6525806
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24918) - you deserved it (2769)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8572) - you deserved it (43114)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70107) - you deserved it (12061)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

#6411627
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7756) - you deserved it (23726)

On 11/22/2009 at 8:35pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that you should always make sure the car is in 'park' before you get it on wildly in it. FML

#6383461
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5489) - you deserved it (24808)

On 11/20/2009 at 7:56pm - intimacy - by Ellen - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

#6378633
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8419) - you deserved it (17159)

On 11/20/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by WorstMedicalBill (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I asked my boss a simple question about a problem I was having with a project I am currently doing. He replied: ''You don't worry your sweet little ass about it babe". My boss is my girlfriend's father. Nice. FML

#6353474
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (2822)

On 11/18/2009 at 11:45am - work - by GiWi (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

#6321583
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30244) - you deserved it (3517)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

#6312781
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10955) - you deserved it (19964)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by loldick (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

#6302850
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6943) - you deserved it (66998)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: