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Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30527) - you deserved it (3673)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6593) - you deserved it (26902)
On 10/01/2009 at 3:56am - misc - by slcbabii23 (woman) - United States (Missouri) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6963) - you deserved it (26229)
On 10/01/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56413) - you deserved it (3657)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I found out that being rhythmically challenged really really sucks. I was trying to dance around sexily for my girlfriend, and I was doing that one move where you thrust your pelvis forward, and swing you hand from side to side. I hit myself in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4424) - you deserved it (14763)
On 09/25/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Dumbfuck (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my mom about the couple times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27804) - you deserved it (4452)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by 1357katie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6821) - you deserved it (34508)
On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by asdfas (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while my 18 pound cat was on the edge of the tub watching me shower, he fell in. Apparently, in his mind, the best way to get away from the water is to climb my bare legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (4026)
On 09/17/2009 at 7:14am - animals - by HHIChica (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20801) - you deserved it (3690)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53017) - you deserved it (2692)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31837) - you deserved it (6369)
On 09/12/2009 at 2:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51050) - you deserved it (11675)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26819) - you deserved it (6522)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37208) - you deserved it (3178)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10309) - you deserved it (43494)
On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)
Monday 20 May 2013
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