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Dale_xD's favorite FMLs
Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML
by smellyhand / 12/16/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals
Today, I received my camera in the mail. I had sent it back to the company because it wouldn't turn on. As I was reading the note they put in, it said, "Battery was put in backwards. No other problems found." FML
by her0x3her0ine617 / 12/09/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by wobbles / 12/04/2009 at 12:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Jen / 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
by SoVeryMonday / 11/30/2009 at 1:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by nickyy / 11/28/2009 at 9:11pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
by IB6UB9 / 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm / United States / Love
Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health
by smellsofeggs / 11/26/2009 at 4:13pm / United Kingdom (Brent) / Animals
by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML
by girl / 11/21/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by nycplywood / 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
by TheMichaelNixon / 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Tennessee) / Animals
Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML
by missmycomp / 11/12/2009 at 9:36am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by neuroticallyours / 11/12/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Virginia) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…