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Dale_xD

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Dale_xD
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7015
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Dale_xD's favorite FMLs

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23930) - you deserved it (30644)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an argument over whether or not I should buy some flowers. With myself. Out loud. FML

#7188892
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4339) - you deserved it (17976)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:58pm - misc - by mindlost (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML

#7150091
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6051) - you deserved it (16947)

On 01/04/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by B-ran - Sent from mobile version

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

#7125944
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27344) - you deserved it (3111)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML

#7096414
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4793) - you deserved it (27512)

On 01/02/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Laughluv (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

#7084392
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23152) - you deserved it (3134)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7561) - you deserved it (55075)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9336) - you deserved it (21474)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a surprise test for Economics. While taking the test, I put my head down so I could think. A while later, I awoke to the whole class turning in their test. I had to turn in my test incomplete. No questions answered, just my name, the date, and a pool of drool. FML

#6831944
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7212) - you deserved it (34385)

On 12/19/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Jrlloyd013 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

#6812101
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24002) - you deserved it (4145)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

#6803629
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5628) - you deserved it (34741)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by nwalsh2009 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was eating lunch out side with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

#6795519
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29380) - you deserved it (2443)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:43pm - animals - by ollierocks96 - United States (Florida)

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

#6793560
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11336) - you deserved it (22278)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

#6789867
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7898) - you deserved it (37049)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - animals - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into Old Navy to buy myself a pair of jingle jammies. Save yourself the embarrassment: don't shake the jammies in the middle of the store to hear the jingling, because these jammies do not jingle. You'll just look like an idiot. FML

#6787004
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5302) - you deserved it (27368)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by sarabalism (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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