This member hasn't filled in their description.
Dale_xD's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Dale_xD's favorite FMLs
by Hugh_Jankles / 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by mindlost / 01/06/2010 at 9:58pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML
by ohdear / 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML
by Laughluv / 01/02/2010 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
by Lovergirl / 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by chris / 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I had a surprise test for Economics. While taking the test, I put my head down so I could think. A while later, I awoke to the whole class turning in their test. I had to turn in my test incomplete. No questions answered, just my name, the date, and a pool of drool. FML
by Jrlloyd013 / 12/19/2009 at 5:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/18/2009 at 3:27pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML
by nwalsh2009 / 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation
Today, I was eating lunch out side with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
by ollierocks96 / 12/17/2009 at 4:43pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by ohmy / 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada / Animals
by AnRom / 12/17/2009 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I walked into Old Navy to buy myself a pair of jingle jammies. Save yourself the embarrassment: don't shake the jammies in the middle of the store to hear the jingling, because these jammies do not jingle. You'll just look like an idiot. FML
by sarabalism / 12/17/2009 at 12:07am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…