This member hasn't filled in their description.
Dale_xD's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Dale_xD's favorite FMLs
by JK / 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/31/2010 at 5:16am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by hahahawoww / 01/30/2010 at 7:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by CheeseMonsters / 01/24/2010 at 7:28am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/24/2010 at 3:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
by BlackPolarbear / 01/23/2010 at 3:05am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
by Concussed / 01/17/2010 at 1:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by brileyyyy / 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
by Hayley / 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by wowhoopla / 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm / Miscellaneous
Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2010 at 11:19am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML
by Fredgruff / 01/09/2010 at 8:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…