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Dale_xD

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Dale_xD
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6991
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Dale_xD's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4208) - you deserved it (14747)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

#8763974
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19077) - you deserved it (5022)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

#8658331
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9218) - you deserved it (17120)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:10am - misc - by princess4242 (woman) - India (Delhi)

Today, I was making schnitzel at our kitchen so I had to get rid of all the oil. So I decided it would be best to put the hot pan on our porch so the oil would cool down and then I could get rid of it. Unfortunately the ground is sealed with tar, so the tar melted and now the pan is stuck to the ground. FML

#8583652
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6619) - you deserved it (23597)

On 02/23/2010 at 7:54am - health - by peterpan (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22849) - you deserved it (6463)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

#8555278
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11012) - you deserved it (18790)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:51pm - misc - by sacked (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

#8519094
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5005) - you deserved it (41269)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:34pm - misc - by anna14 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

#8492121
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7669) - you deserved it (19840)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by AwwChute (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML

#8479975
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16361) - you deserved it (8137)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:58pm - misc - by moobysrocks - United States

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

#8403549
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18573) - you deserved it (3015)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:22am - health - by Hayleey_079 (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24238) - you deserved it (2425)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

#8130658
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18838) - you deserved it (4333)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML

Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML

#7897076
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7219) - you deserved it (24663)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

#7883509
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13955) - you deserved it (8538)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)



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