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Dale_xD

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Dale_xD
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7019
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Dale_xD's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend's guinea pig managed to go down her shirt. I have been dating her for 3 weeks and I haven't even kissed her yet. FML

#6301
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18157) - you deserved it (38135)

On 02/03/2009 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by Merdoc (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML

#5925
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14388) - you deserved it (42551)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:24am - intimacy - by hitmutefirst (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

#4642
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31218) - you deserved it (4947)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34506) - you deserved it (27578)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

#2738
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5919) - you deserved it (57134)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14821) - you deserved it (65976)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

#2357
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12074) - you deserved it (36578)

On 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by killmyself - United States (California)

Today, I put my paint brush into my cup of tea. FML

#1815
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6180) - you deserved it (15260)

On 01/20/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Petridishoflove - Hong Kong

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

#1065
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8003) - you deserved it (35650)

On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

#1028
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5242) - you deserved it (42252)

On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was so bored that I filmed my goldfish while it was eating. FML

#923
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15618) - you deserved it (4620)

On 01/10/2009 at 3:21am - animals - by Crystal - Sent from mobile version

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6455) - you deserved it (25295)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked "why does it smell so bad?" I replied "sweat". FML

#672
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11863) - you deserved it (31191)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5835) - you deserved it (20274)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version



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