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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39745) - you deserved it (11219)
On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34627) - you deserved it (5473)
On 02/04/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by na (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12725) - you deserved it (36856)
On 02/03/2009 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by thermos (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend's guinea pig managed to go down her shirt. I have been dating her for 3 weeks and I haven't even kissed her yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15352) - you deserved it (31248)
On 02/03/2009 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by Merdoc (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12438) - you deserved it (35302)
On 02/03/2009 at 5:24am - intimacy - by hitmutefirst (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26814) - you deserved it (4072)
On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32016) - you deserved it (25999)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5087) - you deserved it (47716)
On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12393) - you deserved it (54101)
On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States
Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11030) - you deserved it (34248)
On 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by killmyself - United States (California)
Today, I put my paint brush into my cup of tea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5064) - you deserved it (11093)
On 01/20/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Petridishoflove - Hong Kong
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5076) - you deserved it (21830)
On 01/16/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by Gob - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7837) - you deserved it (34761)
On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)
Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4102) - you deserved it (36620)
On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was so bored that I filmed my goldfish while it was eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13708) - you deserved it (3716)
On 01/10/2009 at 3:21am - animals - by Crystal - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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