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Dale_xD's favorite FMLs
by ouchmynose / 02/17/2009 at 9:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
by lunarboy / 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by EK / 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by abi_vet_student / 02/13/2009 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Animals
by Evil_Egbert / 02/12/2009 at 6:54am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Intimacy
by hatethatiloveyou / 02/09/2009 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by lilzoot / 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (Alabama) / Geek
by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Fag_Hag / 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by ruffrider / 02/05/2009 at 9:09am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy
by #201 / 02/05/2009 at 8:23am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by na / 02/04/2009 at 9:35am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by thermos / 02/03/2009 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Merdoc / 02/03/2009 at 12:22pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to… Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next… Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his…