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Dale_xD

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Dale_xD

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13462
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Dale_xD : I'm only here for the cake.

Dale_xD's page activity

Visits<b>GetErased</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:40am<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 7:37am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 9:32pm<b>zeeman2015</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 8:21pm<b>nihar_1296</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:23am<b>yourfreind</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:59pm<b>myexactname</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:18pm<b>awkotaco333</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 6:51pm<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 2:46pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 2:40pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 6:13pm<b>Jjan04</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 8:18am<b>Monster27</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 6:12pm<b>izembo</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 9:23pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 12:31am<b>mza418</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 8:14pm<b>larsa_cheban</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 8:34pm

Fucked!<b>GetErased</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 7:40am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 4:18am

Dale_xD's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Dale_xD's badges

Dale_xD's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

#285039
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18330) - you deserved it (71008)

On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
528 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61672) - you deserved it (332094)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my brother's new girlfriend, who is blind, asked to feel my face so she could tell what I look like. She said I was "unique". A blind chick just told me I was ugly. FML

#267398
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64803) - you deserved it (5378)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by GreenScar (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

#267368
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26162) - you deserved it (78766)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by theassman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

#260451
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95450) - you deserved it (29111)

On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

#245062
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68027) - you deserved it (21275)

On 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm - misc - by poop - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

#232857
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27261) - you deserved it (163479)

On 03/07/2009 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Mulee (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

#226271
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29478) - you deserved it (40238)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

#195442
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68116) - you deserved it (30048)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by Sal (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59123) - you deserved it (15226)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

#168503
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87331) - you deserved it (15168)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

#159589
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19406) - you deserved it (89633)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

#150078
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19444) - you deserved it (51991)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

#125152
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19350) - you deserved it (48399)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

#94773
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10404) - you deserved it (66170)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:35am - love - by notsosexygirl (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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