Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Dale_xD

Online | Search for a member

Dale_xD

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12336
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Dale_xD : I'm only here for the cake.

Dale_xD's page activity

Visits<b>nihar_1296</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:23am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:22pm<b>yourfreind</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:59pm<b>myexactname</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:18pm<b>awkotaco333</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 6:51pm<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 2:46pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 2:40pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 6:13pm<b>Jjan04</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 8:18am<b>Monster27</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 6:12pm<b>izembo</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 9:23pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 12:31am<b>mza418</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 8:14pm<b>larsa_cheban</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 8:34pm<b>muffinkitty</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 1:47am<b>lauren_gerrard9</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 7:52pm<b>rick1</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 12:06am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 4:18am

Dale_xD's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Dale_xD's badges

Dale_xD's favorite FMLs

Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML

#915602
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17810) - you deserved it (53207)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by effingawwesome (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

#873760
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (61084)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw my train pulling in to the station. I sprinted up the stairs and luckily made the train. I looked around and no one was in my compartment. I began to notice that the train was heading down some tracks I'd never been too. I got stuck on an empty train for 3 hours in the train garage. FML

#868262
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54040) - you deserved it (13644)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:49am - misc - by bkeiya (man) - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

#864226
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63676) - you deserved it (5797)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML

#804387
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61646) - you deserved it (9672)

On 04/04/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML

#804387
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61646) - you deserved it (9672)

On 04/04/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML

#804387
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61646) - you deserved it (9672)

On 04/04/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

#774931
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176384) - you deserved it (28397)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

#717975
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25073) - you deserved it (83764)

On 03/31/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Alex (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

#694537
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89863) - you deserved it (35471)

On 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm - intimacy - by Cynical (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

#665920
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33202) - you deserved it (86588)

On 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm - love - by WeezysBaby (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

#665920
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33202) - you deserved it (86588)

On 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm - love - by WeezysBaby (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: