This member hasn't filled in their description.
Dale_xD's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Dale_xD's favorite FMLs
Today, my boss walked down to my office with me to get some paperwork after a very tense, important meeting. He patiently waited while I tried to unlock my office door with my remote for my car. Twice. FML
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
by Ploeboi / 08/04/2010 at 4:28am / United States (Washington) / Work
by Username / 08/04/2010 at 1:18am / Miscellaneous
by Alisha Marie / 08/04/2010 at 12:20am / United States (New York) / Love
by Julia / 08/02/2010 at 5:50am / New Zealand (Otago) / Work
by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML
by gibsonSG323 / 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by human torch / 03/18/2010 at 11:22am / United States / Health
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a horrible day at school, I went through the McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone. Everything went well until I had to pull a sharp turn. The ice cream is now no longer on the cone, but instead all over my hands, face, steering wheel, and the carpet. FML
by teachingsucks / 03/14/2010 at 2:29pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:49am / United States / Geek
Today, I have to spend over an hour at a Gamestop so my boyfriend can get his 'Final Fantasy' game at midnight. I'm tired, I don't want to stand around any more, and all the people around around me are debating super heroes. I'm living in an episode of 'The Big Bang Theory.' FML
by notanerd / 03/09/2010 at 12:12am / United States / Geek
by raidered / 03/08/2010 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…