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Dale_xD

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Dale_xD

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13435
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Dale_xD : I'm only here for the cake.

Dale_xD's page activity

Visits<b>GetErased</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:40am<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 7:37am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 9:32pm<b>zeeman2015</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 8:21pm<b>nihar_1296</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:23am<b>yourfreind</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:59pm<b>myexactname</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:18pm<b>awkotaco333</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 6:51pm<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 2:46pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 2:40pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 6:13pm<b>Jjan04</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 8:18am<b>Monster27</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 6:12pm<b>izembo</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 9:23pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 12:31am<b>mza418</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 8:14pm<b>larsa_cheban</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 8:34pm

Fucked!<b>GetErased</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 7:40am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 4:18am

Dale_xD's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Dale_xD's badges

Dale_xD's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML

Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML

#4425556
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13980) - you deserved it (54588)

On 08/10/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by klutz (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML

#4420726
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16821) - you deserved it (56227)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:12am - love - by HouseMdFangirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was wearing my favorite tube top to the mall when a girl walked up and said, "I have that exact same skirt, why are you wearing it as a top?" I've been wearing it for two years, and no one's bothered to tell me. FML

#4290695
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16816) - you deserved it (50309)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sprinting to the bus stop trying to beat the bus. It pulled next to me and honked, startling me off the edge of the road. My foot slipped, I went tumbling, roadrashing my leg. The bus driver stopped, opened the door, and yelled "I was just letting you know this is a training bus." FML

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

#4264267
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59263) - you deserved it (2357)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML

#4256905
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56119) - you deserved it (3069)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Tyler (man) - United States

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67763) - you deserved it (5520)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71848) - you deserved it (16456)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

#4186568
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15970) - you deserved it (68522)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ohhmydamn (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML

#4173931
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11895) - you deserved it (47609)

On 07/31/2009 at 1:25am - work - by pisspantsjob (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I worked in a clinic as a intern. A nurse was called to dry a woman's hair. I followed her, trying to be a good intern. After the nurse was done, the 72 year old woman took off her bathrobe. While looking at me she sat down, her legs wide open. And, yes, she knew she was naked. FML

#4156850
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38610) - you deserved it (3234)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

#4144889
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21535) - you deserved it (50941)

On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

#4113781
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53934) - you deserved it (8242)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)



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