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Dale_xD

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Dale_xD
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5418
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Dale_xD's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

#4637795
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49865) - you deserved it (4178)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50640) - you deserved it (9073)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92986) - you deserved it (6034)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML

#4627317
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15621) - you deserved it (56252)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius

Today, I was walking my Aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out the bag had a small unoticable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didnt realize it. FML

#4626949
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29579) - you deserved it (8887)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by itzcorinnelove (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML

#4624191
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37226) - you deserved it (11452)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

#4623862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34668) - you deserved it (7335)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:47am - health - by Ahhwtf (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

#4606857
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30303) - you deserved it (15606)

On 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

#4604892
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40188) - you deserved it (4988)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by JayBausch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52814) - you deserved it (9988)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML

#4550264
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9970) - you deserved it (38073)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:51pm - misc - by whatgoesaround (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML

#4525177
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35570) - you deserved it (5821)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by ragsy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

#4495233
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6132) - you deserved it (47178)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:27am - misc - by oldtexas (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was volunteering at the library. A kid came up and asked me to help him peel the back off his sticker. It took me so long the kid left. Determined, I still tried to peel it off. Fifteen minutes later, the librarian came over, looked once at it, and told me it wasn't a sticker. FML

#4484450
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7759) - you deserved it (27433)

On 08/12/2009 at 8:34pm - work - by librarygirl (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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