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Dale_xD

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Dale_xD
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7015
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Dale_xD's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

#15059457
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33249) - you deserved it (12120)

On 02/21/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

#15056238
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32505) - you deserved it (7506)

On 02/20/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24001) - you deserved it (4118)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML

#15051482
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (4764)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:04pm - health - by bouncekitty - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

#15038049
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30369) - you deserved it (6398)

On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

#15034868
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36228) - you deserved it (7562)

On 02/19/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML

#15031615
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22010) - you deserved it (12113)

On 02/18/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by blaahh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to get into my house via the dog flap because my mom changed the locks. FML

#15029276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25501) - you deserved it (3751)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:18pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML

#15025975
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31848) - you deserved it (3011)

On 02/18/2011 at 8:06am - work - by sickly -

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

#15021227
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25263) - you deserved it (6857)

On 02/17/2011 at 10:02pm - misc - by justmyluck? -

Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML

#15016068
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40129) - you deserved it (4245)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by fmylife117 - United States

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML

#15015592
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9767) - you deserved it (29240)

On 02/17/2011 at 12:29pm - misc - by Whatever479 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

#15015231
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31116) - you deserved it (2760)

On 02/17/2011 at 11:33am - animals - by Aled (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

#15001986
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (2604)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44124) - you deserved it (8911)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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