I wasn't really born in 1980 lol.
Hiya ^^ My name is Dale, I'm emo, I would die without music and Dale IS a girls name ;)
Today, I found out that being rhythmically challenged really really sucks. I was trying to dance around sexily for my girlfriend, and I was doing that one move where you thrust your pelvis forward, and swing you hand from side to side. I hit myself in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1875) - you totally deserved it (7746)
On 09/25/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Dumbfuck (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was locked out my car because I accidentally left the car keys in the car. I ask my little brother for a suggestion. What does he do? He throws a rock through the window and says "Problem solved." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21743) - you totally deserved it (9421)
On 09/20/2009 at 3:41am - kids - by loserboii (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I told my mom about the couple times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you totally deserved it (3489)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by 1357katie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4810) - you totally deserved it (22873)
On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by asdfas (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while my 18 pound cat was on the edge of the tub watching me shower, he fell in. Apparently, in his mind, the best way to get away from the water is to climb my bare legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you totally deserved it (3215)
On 09/17/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by HHIChica (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36770) - you totally deserved it (1606)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26098) - you totally deserved it (5081)
On 09/12/2009 at 2:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today I was eating m&ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering "where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25492) - you totally deserved it (6045)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14467) - you totally deserved it (3209)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7457) - you totally deserved it (29495)
On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)
Today, I realized I forgot to write a 5000 word essay for my English class. I tried to be calm since I had until midnight to finish, and it was only 8pm. I typed for three hours straight,and finished the assignment. I read over the instruction again, and realized it only had to be 500 words. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11363) - you totally deserved it (32458)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7156) - you totally deserved it (29505)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, in Chem, I was chosen to hold the fire extinguisher just in case something happened while showing how to blow up a dangerous chemical. My teacher told me to spray if anything got out of control. He lit the fire and I freaked out and sprayed it. The entire wing of my school was evacuted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5415) - you totally deserved it (24519)
On 09/08/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by firefighter (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laugh and made sexual comments about him that we thought he couldn't understand, he asks me "First time in Moscow?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (2495) - you totally deserved it (45493)
On 09/08/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by HotToTrotskyite (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)
Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38828) - you totally deserved it (1464)
On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
