Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Daaniellee1234

Search for a member

Daaniellee1234
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19759
  • Number of comments : 162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Daaniellee1234 : Hii, my name is Danielle and I live in a shitty little town. You can pretty much count on the fact I will always be wearing a beanie. I have my ears gauged and I love it. In the winter I spend all of my free time snowboarding, and in the summer you can find me at the lake wakeboarding, kneeboarding, and tubing. I like to kickbox, play MW3 on xbox, and spend my free time hanging out with my friends. I'm fucking weird and you'll learn to understand my twisted mind. Enough of my blabbing, what up with you ? Message me bitchezz :)

Hit me up for my xbox live GT.
Follow me on Twitter. @danielledubzz

Knock knock.
Whose there?
Me again, still wondering why you're not naked.

Daaniellee1234's last visitors

gary3768herecomesthesun3stoneYaboudin227mangoboy1bitchwhoreDouggiedogluebbeCovenant74

Daaniellee1234's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Daaniellee1234's badges

Daaniellee1234's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

#3932433
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47865) - you deserved it (21889)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29319) - you deserved it (73744)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

#3769867
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37141) - you deserved it (6500)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by GrippedMyBalls - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said,"This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

#3692539
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40296) - you deserved it (9192)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

#3334132
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60256) - you deserved it (5297)

On 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm - kids - by dad (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6217) - you deserved it (87321)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58992) - you deserved it (30943)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked 6 houses down and went to the party for 20mins. After coming out after 3 beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML

#3199012
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12947) - you deserved it (44601)

On 06/25/2009 at 4:05am - misc - by Noj12345 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML

#3165947
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (46164)

On 06/24/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by jerk (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

#3143292
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20655) - you deserved it (52419)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML

#3017259
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36111) - you deserved it (4846)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by bear92 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

#2966896
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23984) - you deserved it (51620)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML

#2928893
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31568) - you deserved it (2754)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81061) - you deserved it (15201)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14747) - you deserved it (69502)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: