Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DaDezza244

Offline (the 06/02/2014 at 10:58am) | Search for a member

DaDezza244

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 November 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9423
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About DaDezza244 : Hello strangers.
University life is upon me!
I love History and Cars
I am Respectful, kind Person
I am Half Asian and Half Australian
I Hate racist people.
I Believe in Human Rights
Stand up for what you believe.
Be Respectful to everyone.
I'm on app most of the time.
Support same-sex marriage!
Don't Judge people!
Message me if you wish!
CYA later :D

DaDezza244's page activity

Visits<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:12pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:36pm<b>ronberg</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:43am<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 6:20pm<b>DreamBigDollFace</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:23am<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:21pm<b>ExoticWaffles</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 3:45pm<b>PlasmaPorter</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:33am<b>captaininouille</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:53am<b>chiefsmalls</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 12:42pm<b>iSativa</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:02am<b>Adam5858</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 7:09am<b>kiwifwesh</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 2:28pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:38am<b>scarman</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:29pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 11:43pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:27pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 6:38am

DaDezza244's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of DaDezza244's badges

DaDezza244's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

#20823044
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35988) - you deserved it (17337)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01am - animals - by Tea_baggins (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

#20822450
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47799) - you deserved it (4317)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by NO NO NO (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML

#20822442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43018) - you deserved it (6490)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed hysterically and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63360) - you deserved it (8221)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

#20820394
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41319) - you deserved it (4101)

On 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by newbffswelcome (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML

#20820030
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54966) - you deserved it (7262)

On 08/04/2013 at 7:21am - animals - by Barking Mad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

#20819060
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40069) - you deserved it (8772)

On 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm - health - by WTF, America? (man) - Sweden

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59781) - you deserved it (5872)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53538) - you deserved it (4813)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

#20817205
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44712) - you deserved it (24432)

On 08/02/2013 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by fuck but no fuck (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

#20816873
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45068) - you deserved it (2603)

On 08/02/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49639) - you deserved it (10528)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

#20815357
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41620) - you deserved it (3815)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by hangman (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML

#20815203
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52061) - you deserved it (3406)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65410) - you deserved it (5639)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: