Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About DaDezza244 : I only comment so I don't disappear into the pages of history lol. My comments will suck since I'm hopeless at making puns. FML
I am boring as fuck, almost no sense of humour which is probably why I have no friends lol. #thelonelylife
Hmm... I need to zzzzz more
Let's run away from the wickedness of the world and travel to Narnia or Hogwarts! The world is mad and I had enough. It's time for us to disappear to our fantasies
Let's travel the world and obtain every Pokèmon that currently exists in our imagination! (I prefer all pokemon up to 486)
I'm hopeless at making puns so I don't really comment. Anxiety problems is also a reason I don't comment. #TheStruggle
Friends? What's that? It's a myth to me lol
I love Germany. You can say I'm obsessed.
I am Respectful, kind Person
I am Australian with an Asian descent
I Hate racist people.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML
Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment's for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket because walking is "too painful". FML
Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML
Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML
Today, on a flight, I needed to use the restroom. The passenger next to me was in a deep sleep, and was very large, so I couldn't get out by climbing over him. The urge got severe, so I resorted to tapping him on the shoulder. Turns out he had some nice reflexes and hit me in the face. FML
On 08/05/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by fractured_ -
Friday 5 February 2016