Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About DaDezza244 : I only comment so I don't disappear into the pages of history lol. My comments will suck since I'm hopeless at making puns. FML
Let's run away from the wickedness of the world and travel to Narnia or Hogwarts! The world is mad and I had enough. It's time for us to disappear to our fantasies
Let's travel the world and obtain every Pokèmon that currently exists in our imagination! (I prefer all pokemon up to 486)
I'm hopeless at making puns so I don't really comment. Anxiety problems is also a reason I don't comment. #TheStruggle
I really want friends :( social anxiety sucks balls
I love Germany. You can say I'm obsessed.
I am Respectful, kind Person
I am Australian with an Asian descent
I Hate racist people.
I Believe in Human Rights
Stand up for what you believe.
Be Respectful to everyone.
I'm on app most of the time.
Support same-sex marriage!
Don't Judge people!
Message me if you wish!
CYA later :D
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML
Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML
Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML
Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML
Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML
Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML
Friday 26 June 2015