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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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DUMBIDIOT

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DUMBIDIOT
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 333
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

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DUMBIDIOT's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481 (438)

I agree, your life sucks (22833) - you deserved it (99468)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053 (715)

I agree, your life sucks (121977) - you deserved it (29414)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

#1427967 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (11763) - you deserved it (42201)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

#1382761 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (75456) - you deserved it (15623)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)

Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML

#1213141 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (49331) - you deserved it (7897)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:09am - love - by misterhippo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

#1070820 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (34673) - you deserved it (11784)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and gave them a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

#1012847 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (9740) - you deserved it (56822)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by filipinoclari808 (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (77947) - you deserved it (29136)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733 (543)

I agree, your life sucks (35955) - you deserved it (225379)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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