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Mobility
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Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16546) - you deserved it (1956)
On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18625) - you deserved it (1270)
On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16707) - you deserved it (1981)
On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17925) - you deserved it (3325)
On 07/21/2012 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Lucy - United States (California)
I agree, your life sucks (29242) - you deserved it (6968)
On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16791) - you deserved it (1875)
On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29519) - you deserved it (2879)
Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22211) - you deserved it (2296)
On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15484) - you deserved it (4083)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States
Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14861) - you deserved it (1505)
On 05/17/2012 at 6:02pm - work - by poseidon5213 - United States (California)
Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14888) - you deserved it (3461)
On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18806) - you deserved it (2619)
On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23589) - you deserved it (1452)
On 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7281) - you deserved it (14401)
On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28537) - you deserved it (2408)
On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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