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DDCA's favorite FMLs
by cheeseburglar_9000 / 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by missedfistbump / 03/20/2013 at 10:31am / United States / Work
Today, we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML
by :( / 03/19/2013 at 4:12pm / United States (South Carolina) / Holidays
by soontobesingle / 03/19/2013 at 7:30am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML
by Luke / 03/19/2013 at 5:59am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML
by nearly20yetasfearfulasatoddlerhavingnightmares / 03/19/2013 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by chickenmcnuggetgirl / 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm / Ireland (Meath) / Intimacy
Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML
by anonymous / 03/18/2013 at 5:17am / United States (California) / Animals
by Susan / 03/18/2013 at 4:59am / Ireland / Intimacy
Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML
by mcds2 / 03/18/2013 at 4:28am / United States / Love
by just physical / 03/17/2013 at 10:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by noooooooo / 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML
by meetrasan / 03/17/2013 at 8:01pm / Money
by Anonymous / 03/17/2013 at 3:09pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous
Today, while serving two middle-aged women at the coffee shop, I was screamed at and accused of being a "sexist and chauvinistic bastard." This was prompted by me charging one of them 40 cents for the addition of steamed milk, which is clearly stated on the price sheet. FML
by innocentbarista / 03/17/2013 at 3:00pm / United States (California) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I was an extra in a movie and I had to play a corpse. At the make up stand, they painted my…