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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30408) - you deserved it (2505)
On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30275) - you deserved it (6158)
On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34940) - you deserved it (3305)
On 09/18/2009 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30428) - you deserved it (3572)
On 09/17/2009 at 7:58pm - kids - by Sadmom (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was with my seven year old daughter purchasing my husband a present for his birthday in a few weeks. At the register, in the very long line, I asked her where we could hide his present so he wouldn't find it, she responded loudly with "Hide it in your room! He never goes in there!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25538) - you deserved it (3225)
On 09/12/2009 at 11:31am - kids - by nosexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my 11 year old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach wearing a bikini. He said " Wow! Who's that?!" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said " Whats happened?!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30147) - you deserved it (5496)
On 09/10/2009 at 5:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37197) - you deserved it (3176)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32578) - you deserved it (3464)
On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26642) - you deserved it (1685)
On 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by UGH (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54585) - you deserved it (12513)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28406) - you deserved it (2987)
On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11191) - you deserved it (35968)
On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52606) - you deserved it (5719)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24468) - you deserved it (65185)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45920) - you deserved it (6704)
On 08/05/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by some_girl_19 (woman) - United States (Maine)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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