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D33War12

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D33War12
  • Town/Country : Dallas, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 September 1960 (53 years)
  • Number of visits : 1253
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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D33War12's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

#20092519
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9710) - you deserved it (39546)

On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

#20089025
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (1319)

On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

#18844690
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27488) - you deserved it (3108)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML

#18841081
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32211) - you deserved it (2347)

On 01/18/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by meh - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

#18785359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22881) - you deserved it (4594)

On 01/12/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

#18765651
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12359) - you deserved it (47150)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

#18689614
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41336) - you deserved it (2996)

On 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

#18681564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25186) - you deserved it (7586)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45067) - you deserved it (3116)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mom asked me to help pick out clothes for my grandma to wear in her casket. I didn't know she'd died. FML

#18646853
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29642) - you deserved it (2488)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by naomids (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home and told my mom that I got the lead in the school musical, which I was very happy about. She pulled me into a hug then said, "But you know you can't really sing, right?" FML

#18644293
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21096) - you deserved it (2346)

On 12/29/2011 at 1:39pm - misc - by tickle spunk - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML

#18641701
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28483) - you deserved it (2491)

On 12/29/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Grossed Out (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35655) - you deserved it (6345)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

#18624814
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8057) - you deserved it (33154)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by ;)loganberry(; - United States (Montana)

Today, my mom convinced me that she and my dad were getting divorced. I have anxiety problems, so I had a panic attack. She then laughed, and said, "Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction. It's the best so far." FML

#18622971
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29456) - you deserved it (3217)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:42am - health - by somewhatlucky - United States (California)



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