D2theLux

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D2theLux

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7446
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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D2theLux's page activity

Visits<b>Wideout40</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 2:00pm<b>jaguarpotatoes</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 9:41pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 11:21am<b>not2shabby</b> - the 04/08/2009 at 6:58pm<b>SuRg3</b> - the 04/04/2009 at 1:47pm

D2theLux's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

D2theLux's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with "YAY! I want to live with daddy! He buys better presents." Their father has literally never bought anything for them, the exact reason I'm divorcing him. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML

by chachi / 09/28/2009 at 2:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 12:28pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

by justgreat / 09/28/2009 at 11:13am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

by ripfluffy / 09/28/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML

by elmangy / 08/11/2009 at 12:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the dry cleaner next to my house went up in flames. I went outside to look at the fire, as I looked on in amazement I realized I had dropped off all of my work clothes at the cleaners two days before. I was supposed to pick them up today but was too lazy to walk the 10 feet to the store. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 11:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML

by Teamarie / 08/11/2009 at 11:21am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was alone with a work acquaintance at lunch. A noise came from his pocket; he whipped out his iPod Touch and said "Sorry, I have to take this," before walking away with the iPod to his ear. Not only did he not want to talk to me, he thought I was stupid enough to confuse an iPod with a phone. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 8:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

by A.L.Woody / 08/11/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

by JazzSpazz / 08/11/2009 at 2:40am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML

by Amanda / 08/11/2009 at 1:52am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous