Cynical_1

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Cynical_1

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 July 1970 (46 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1447
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cynical_1's page activity

Visits<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - 10 hours ago<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 11/07/2016 at 11:31am<b>ChristinePi</b> - the 11/06/2016 at 4:13pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 10:21pm<b>KyoshiroT</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 10:51am<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 9:46pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 3:32pm<b>thetraitorsoul</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 12:40am<b>BlueAlpaca</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 9:15pm<b>blakekorn</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 5:13pm<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 6:48pm<b>Oceanborn</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 3:32am<b>t</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 11:42pm<b>ChinchillaLady</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 6:20pm<b>brunanolasco</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 7:35pm<b>rookworst</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 9:31am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:05pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 3:46pm

Fucked!<b>BlueAlpaca</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 3:15am<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 12:48am

Cynical_1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Cynical_1's badges

Cynical_1's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister made a comment about my small boobs. I told her I'm actually a C cup, and she told me she "can't even C them". I just got roasted with a fucking pun. FML

by Myorafield / 10/26/2016 at 2:42am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I couldn't find my vibrator. After searching for an hour I decided to ask my husband. He quickly shook his head no. We've been married for ten years. I know when he's lying. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 9:02pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, I started my job as a driving instructor. My first client showed up piss drunk. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 8:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

by disturbed / 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm / Ireland / Animals

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

by HouseWife / 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

by possibly a sweater / 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML

by unwantedforlife / 11/19/2013 at 7:19pm / United States / Love

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML

by tigger2013 / 08/03/2013 at 12:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

by Kn0wledge123 / 06/26/2013 at 1:27am / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.