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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Cymbre9199

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Cymbre9199
  • Town/Country : Colorado
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 October 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 471
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Cymbre9199 : www.myspace.com/j0rd4ncymbr3

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Cymbre9199's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

#5149923 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (30468) - you deserved it (3227)

On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

#5136850 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (9086) - you deserved it (35264)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

#4958000 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (70095) - you deserved it (3349)

On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

#4933603 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (44798) - you deserved it (3099)

On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after six months of dating, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because my "obsession" of being on the computer and playing games all the time was cutting into "our time". She then told me to "get a life" and never wanted to see me again. She told me all of this on WoW. FML

#4911322 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (19774) - you deserved it (36599)

On 08/29/2009 at 6:20pm - love - by zuper_duper (man) - United States (California)

Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

#4909892 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (31616) - you deserved it (3188)

On 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm - work - by newguy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

#4617560 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (11083) - you deserved it (34264)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (16748) - you deserved it (39913)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493 (298)

I agree, your life sucks (88404) - you deserved it (5295)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

#2933331 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (41949) - you deserved it (3333)

On 06/16/2009 at 3:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494 (859)

I agree, your life sucks (85947) - you deserved it (50907)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

#2527360 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (72706) - you deserved it (5140)

On 06/02/2009 at 8:19am - intimacy - by Ariel (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML

#1745966 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (63471) - you deserved it (2591)

On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looks at me, then turns to everyone and says "But not our Becky! She is more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML

#1738552 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (40135) - you deserved it (4318)

On 05/07/2009 at 11:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

#1525413 (307)

I agree, your life sucks (60740) - you deserved it (18529)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by erectioninfection (man) - United States