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Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7012) - you deserved it (512)
On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36903) - you deserved it (1856)
On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26741) - you deserved it (2543)
On 05/19/2013 at 6:33pm - animals - by rach (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36459) - you deserved it (4992)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28611) - you deserved it (5883)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31120) - you deserved it (1986)
On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37357) - you deserved it (3274)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States
Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34775) - you deserved it (19583)
On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States
Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31955) - you deserved it (15354)
On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37724) - you deserved it (3146)
On 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40256) - you deserved it (2691)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my little brother gave me a candy bar for my birthday. After I ate the entire thing, he told me it was Ex-Lax and that I needed it because I'm "so full of shit". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38912) - you deserved it (6586)
On 05/17/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by Unlucky Individual - United States (California)
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38916) - you deserved it (2362)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39587) - you deserved it (3088)
On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35551) - you deserved it (6226)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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