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Today, I tried to make my mom feel better about me leaving for camp for 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come to. She took me seriously and called the camp and is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, and I'm really going to my boyfriend's lake house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10118) - you totally deserved it (48097)
On 07/22/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by grounded4life (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26727) - you totally deserved it (2114)
On 07/05/2009 at 12:53am - money - by iloveZELOS (woman) - United States
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35145) - you totally deserved it (3739)
On 07/05/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by bridezilla (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12765) - you totally deserved it (23171)
On 07/04/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by Singed (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35604) - you totally deserved it (1047)
On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by hot_mess88 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was talked into having sex with my boyfriend of 4 years. I had always wanted to wait till marriage but my boyfriend convinced me otherwise. Once we were done, he said he could never marry me because I was no longer pure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (242570) - you totally deserved it (65690)
On 03/15/2009 at 12:57am - intimacy - by kallieco (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (353426) - you totally deserved it (15273)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (329838) - you totally deserved it (16459)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (264349) - you totally deserved it (14512)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:54am - intimacy - by yada (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, this really attractive woman that I've known for years told me that when I can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. I'm confined to a wheelchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (301094) - you totally deserved it (11749)
On 02/20/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by C Me Rollin (man) - United States
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (329195) - you totally deserved it (18786)
On 02/10/2009 at 6:06pm - intimacy - by misc (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (280045) - you totally deserved it (15439)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (343304) - you totally deserved it (50713)
On 02/05/2009 at 7:06am - love - by Noname - United States (Illinois)
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