About Cute : "Cheating? You can't cheat, it's a jigsaw puzzle!"
Hello, I'm just a female on here. Nothing out of the average.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30701) - you deserved it (3012)
On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - love - by CHStennis_4 - United States (Utah)
Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15560) - you deserved it (4082)
On 09/02/2011 at 9:59pm - misc - by Actor (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my child-hating friend who vowed never to have any no matter what, announced that she's pregnant. I've had three IVF cycles, spent $90k in fertility treatments, and still can't conceive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39879) - you deserved it (3735)
On 09/02/2011 at 6:02pm - kids - by anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23132) - you deserved it (2810)
On 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm - love - by Harry Dare - United Kingdom (Walsall)
Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21337) - you deserved it (1175)
On 09/01/2011 at 2:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12557) - you deserved it (38896)
On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24136) - you deserved it (2355)
On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25494) - you deserved it (4063)
On 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Annie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20608) - you deserved it (4352)
On 08/28/2011 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31897) - you deserved it (3365)
On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19123) - you deserved it (8243)
On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)
Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (10443)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got a really bad sunburn on my face while at the lake. Not to worry, though; my friends made me feel better by saying, "It takes the attention away from your acne." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21559) - you deserved it (2543)
On 08/15/2011 at 5:38pm - health - by Username - United States
Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10259) - you deserved it (29379)
On 08/15/2011 at 3:14pm - kids - by ollie179 - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me while we were at the pool. He seemed shocked that I wasn't crying. A slim girl in a bikini walked past and said, "Don't worry, fat people are used to it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34850) - you deserved it (4297)
On 08/15/2011 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
