About Cute : "Cheating? You can't cheat, it's a jigsaw puzzle!"
Hello, I'm just a female on here. Nothing out of the average.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29421) - you deserved it (4433)
On 01/25/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by wish.was.single (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking dirty with someone on the phone, when at one point I said, "Oh yeah, you like that?" She responded, "I can't actually feel anything you know, we're just on the phone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8426) - you deserved it (21065)
On 01/25/2012 at 12:00am - intimacy - by talkingtoaretard (man) - United States (California)
Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17621) - you deserved it (5026)
On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13882) - you deserved it (26471)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34244) - you deserved it (2508)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19090) - you deserved it (2277)
On 01/17/2012 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Libyan Arab Jamahiriya
Today, after over a year of lifestyle changes and a ritualistic exercise regime, I finally reached my goal weight. I excitedly told my boyfriend, and he responded, "Yeah, that's nice, but now your tits are tiny". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25289) - you deserved it (5215)
On 01/16/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31442) - you deserved it (2151)
On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20177) - you deserved it (6492)
On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States
Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26384) - you deserved it (2967)
On 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14052) - you deserved it (22198)
On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41077) - you deserved it (36326)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44467) - you deserved it (3853)
On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16150) - you deserved it (28386)
Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24266) - you deserved it (1925)
On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Friday 24 May 2013
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