Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cute

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

Cute

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 October 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6836
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cute : "Cheating? You can't cheat, it's a jigsaw puzzle!"

Hello, I'm just another female here. I'm twenty-one and a mother. I work full time, and go to school full time as well! 😘

Cute's page activity

Visits<b>travisrwr</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:03pm<b>qwerty401</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:31pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:11am<b>LordGoober</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 5:55am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 3:21am<b>skychu</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 6:11pm<b>adameeo</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:41pm<b>boredtillZzz</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:12pm<b>MadLife136</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:07pm<b>lilviking</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 4:31pm<b>ktm71125</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 3:34pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Ayoomoofie</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:50pm<b>Quackadoodledoo</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:25pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:59pm<b>ChaCerCam1</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 9:08pm<b>adacurtis</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 9:06pm<b>klune</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:10pm

Cute's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Cute's badges

Cute's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41689) - you deserved it (9020)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML

#20792695
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52091) - you deserved it (4357)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML

#20647074
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58840) - you deserved it (4596)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by the girl next door (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62906) - you deserved it (13804)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

#20638629
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56252) - you deserved it (7747)

On 05/03/2013 at 8:13am - intimacy - by Who1s269 (man) - United States

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

#20638599
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48392) - you deserved it (5167)

On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53490) - you deserved it (7506)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52038) - you deserved it (17667)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, the McDonald's in my town ran out of fries. I was the one who had to tell all the angry customers we had no more fries in the store. FML

#20571214
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34057) - you deserved it (3540)

On 04/02/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43217) - you deserved it (3033)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39145) - you deserved it (2546)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

#20570299
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18390) - you deserved it (41321)

On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44411) - you deserved it (15090)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

#20565452
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40003) - you deserved it (4710)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79826) - you deserved it (8245)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: