Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cute

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

Cute

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 October 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7991
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cute : "Cheating? You can't cheat, it's a jigsaw puzzle!"

Hello, I'm just another female here. I'm twenty-one and a mother. I work full time, and go to school full time as well! 😘

Cute's page activity

Visits<b>badgemaster</b> - 9 hours ago<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:27am<b>Deezknutz</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 6:06am<b>travisrwr</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:03pm<b>qwerty401</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:31pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:11am<b>LordGoober</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 5:55am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 3:21am<b>skychu</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 6:11pm<b>adameeo</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:41pm<b>boredtillZzz</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:12pm<b>MadLife136</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:07pm<b>lilviking</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 4:31pm<b>ktm71125</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 3:34pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Ayoomoofie</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:50pm<b>Quackadoodledoo</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:25pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:59pm

Cute's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Cute's badges

Cute's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

#21136990
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52636) - you deserved it (4913)

On 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63807) - you deserved it (8104)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61594) - you deserved it (14141)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38729) - you deserved it (5720)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52105) - you deserved it (19050)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43638) - you deserved it (4986)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I finally worked up the guts to add the guy I like on Facebook. To make it less obvious, I added 15 other people as well. Everyone added me back, except him. FML

#21125472
120 comments

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58647) - you deserved it (7491)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36107) - you deserved it (8469)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

#21091901
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51277) - you deserved it (3002)

On 03/20/2014 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43368) - you deserved it (9397)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

Today, after leaving my workplace, I realized that I forgot some important work papers. When I went back to get them, I was faced with the sight of my boss and a coworker getting it on against my desk. FML

#21087500
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48856) - you deserved it (4513)

On 03/15/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52502) - you deserved it (18562)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: