About Cute : "Cheating? You can't cheat, it's a jigsaw puzzle!"
Hello, I'm just a female on here. Nothing out of the average.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I was flipping through a magazine and saw an ad that had the line "No corn, no wheat, no soy", all of which I'm severely allergic to. I got so excited at the prospect of having a food I could eat, I fell out of my chair. I then realized it was an ad for dog food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26482) - you deserved it (3709)
On 07/06/2011 at 1:11am - health - by ChelseaRae (woman) - United States
Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21183) - you deserved it (4651)
On 06/07/2011 at 12:43am - love - by Maddie110110 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13518) - you deserved it (58349)
On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52261) - you deserved it (9882)
On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29240) - you deserved it (4301)
On 05/29/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by CAchickadee - United States (California)
Today, I asked my kids if I looked good before going to work. Smiling, they told me I looked wonderful. It wasn't until I got to work and looked into the mirror until I noticed my left eyebrow was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28351) - you deserved it (6901)
On 05/28/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by tb351 - United States
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12045) - you deserved it (43481)
On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39550) - you deserved it (2672)
On 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34323) - you deserved it (5973)
On 04/23/2011 at 5:26am - kids - by kindgartin (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (4434)
Today, my 15 year old daughter got kicked out of her cheerleading squad because she was overweight. I heard one of the cheerleaders say, "She must be overweight because her mom is." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31406) - you deserved it (9586)
Today, I was at the hairdressers getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31561) - you deserved it (2213)
On 04/15/2011 at 2:43am - misc - by ugly - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17245) - you deserved it (40322)
On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)
Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31683) - you deserved it (5115)
On 04/13/2011 at 9:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37822) - you deserved it (5075)
On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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