Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cute

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

Cute

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 October 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6829
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cute : "Cheating? You can't cheat, it's a jigsaw puzzle!"

Hello, I'm just another female here. I'm twenty-one and a mother. I work full time, and go to school full time as well! 😘

Cute's page activity

Visits<b>travisrwr</b> - yesterday at 7:03pm<b>qwerty401</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:31pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:11am<b>LordGoober</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 5:55am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 3:21am<b>skychu</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 6:11pm<b>adameeo</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:41pm<b>boredtillZzz</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:12pm<b>MadLife136</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:07pm<b>lilviking</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 4:31pm<b>ktm71125</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 3:34pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Ayoomoofie</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:50pm<b>Quackadoodledoo</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:25pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:59pm<b>ChaCerCam1</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 9:08pm<b>adacurtis</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 9:06pm<b>klune</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:10pm

Cute's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Cute's badges

Cute's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

#21251846
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41226) - you deserved it (8226)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42666) - you deserved it (3183)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37028) - you deserved it (2904)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, it was report card day at swimming lessons. Because it was the last day, a little girl brought me flowers. She was the only kid in that class who didn't pass. FML

#21251459
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39787) - you deserved it (3398)

On 09/03/2014 at 9:31pm - work - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36331) - you deserved it (2694)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44505) - you deserved it (4469)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40845) - you deserved it (9483)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36476) - you deserved it (35421)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50615) - you deserved it (9733)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49789) - you deserved it (19638)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

#21233183
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40145) - you deserved it (3849)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:50am - work - by muffins - United States (Maryland)

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23460) - you deserved it (36060)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35132) - you deserved it (11496)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29668) - you deserved it (37928)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66914) - you deserved it (4888)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: