Californiaaa is the state. Where it's hot hot hot even when it should be cold.
Today, I accidentally had my first threesome. A pair of mating bugs flew into my mouth while I was riding my bike home from class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11317) - you totally deserved it (907)
On 03/19/2010 at 10:33am - misc - by menageettoi (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18009) - you totally deserved it (1077)
On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML
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On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)
Today, whilst at my boyfriend's family get together, his cousin got really drunk and decided to ask my boyfriend when he was planning on proposing to me, loud enough for everyone to hear. An awkward silence was followed by my boyfriend's mother, who clearly said "hopefully never." FML
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On 01/03/2010 at 1:53am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML
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On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I realized the odd smell I've been trying to get out of the house is coming from me. FML
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On 01/01/2010 at 1:07am - misc - by _akwardsituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML
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On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had a police officer come to my house because I've been reported missing. My friends online decided to call the police because I haven't signed in for 6 days. FML
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On 11/07/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by iheartvodka (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was running late and realized I had locked my keys in my car. Frantic, I threw a rock through the drivers side window to retrieve them, just before noticing the passenger side door was unlocked. FML
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On 10/04/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Britters89 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32660) - you totally deserved it (5594)
On 10/04/2009 at 11:41am - health - by ew (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I made a tuna sandwich. It was really nice , so I looked at the label to see what brand it was. Turns out it wasn't tuna. It was fancy cat food. FML
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On 10/04/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by Rizzle (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her on as she tackled me. FML
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On 10/04/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML
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On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
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On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
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On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
