Ctrl_H

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Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 5:35pm)

Ctrl_H

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 March 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2322
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Ctrl_H : I don't know how to have casual conversation. You think you're talking about one thing, and either you are and it's incredibly boring, or you're not because it's subtext and you need a decoder ring.

Ctrl_H's page activity

Visits<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 10:29am<b>stellaneptune</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 5:50am<b>couchcat</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:26pm<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:47pm<b>rabbiddog</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:43pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:21pm<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:55am<b>deathpotato</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 3:21pm<b>moneymuffen</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:06am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 12:35pm<b>mayacat</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:34pm<b>Apollo182</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:17pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:43pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 9:39am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:12pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:09am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:38pm<b>jajajanie</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 3:50am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:21pm

Ctrl_H's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Ctrl_H's badges

Ctrl_H's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML

by homeless / 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

by mariana / 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

by Crashed / 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I finally got to surprise my boyfriend with a birthday cake. I spent four days planning the perfect one. First thing he says? "Erm, you know I'm 32, right?" I got his age wrong. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 6:40am / Australia / Love

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

by latter / 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

by Jamie / 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I resigned from my job in favor of a higher-paying one. After I filled out and filed the necessary papers, my boss told me that I had been nominated to replace him when he retired in a month. His job pays at least twice what I'm now making. Thanks for telling me, asshat. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, while writing a self-evaluation for my internship, I had to type up answers to certain questions and then submit them. After submission, I re-read one of the answers I had written that said, "After 3 months on the jon I finally feel like I have accomplished a lot." I had meant to write job. FML

by OnCompanyTimeToo / 09/01/2013 at 9:21pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Work

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

by DefinitelyNotDogshit / 08/28/2013 at 12:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2013 at 11:16am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML

by 4_and_20_blackbits / 08/26/2013 at 4:38am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

by cassidy_smith12 / 08/24/2013 at 10:55am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous