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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22286) - you deserved it (5730)
On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year old man who only spoke spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35877) - you deserved it (1391)
On 09/06/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11184) - you deserved it (47869)
On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27840) - you deserved it (34822)
On 08/12/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I needed to buy Vagisil. I went to the grocery store so I could use the self check-out. My item rung up incorrectly, so a girl came to help. She was new and having trouble, so she called more people to help. I ended up having five people around me talking about my Vagisil purchase. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36829) - you deserved it (2825)
On 07/31/2009 at 5:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I got my cat stuffed after her death. I brought her home and set her down by my couch. I guess my dog thought it was a new chew toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13486) - you deserved it (52771)
On 07/26/2009 at 7:18pm - animals - by Fmycatslife (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56286) - you deserved it (2495)
On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49441) - you deserved it (3104)
On 06/29/2009 at 3:55pm - misc - by thatCanadianGuy7 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8652) - you deserved it (37173)
On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my brother and I were going to give our parents their anniversary gift which cost us over $3000. The gift was a trip to London in August to see a show on Michael Jackson's comeback tour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (79687) - you deserved it (6389)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:31am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54371) - you deserved it (1593)
On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65721) - you deserved it (1868)
On 06/18/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68944) - you deserved it (32612)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30177) - you deserved it (104233)
On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Mason_Jayson - United States (Iowa)
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63028) - you deserved it (12532)
On 02/06/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)
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