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Cruel2BKind

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Cruel2BKind
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 May 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 452
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cruel2BKind's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41595) - you deserved it (8935)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46513) - you deserved it (15539)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML

#21052823
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32720) - you deserved it (13590)

On 02/06/2014 at 10:07pm - work - by AnonymousQuagga - United States (Texas)

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42661) - you deserved it (12100)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML

#21050316
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35685) - you deserved it (3122)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:55pm - health - by even axe would smell better (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51237) - you deserved it (5870)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36799) - you deserved it (13612)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38989) - you deserved it (9481)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

#21048056
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37969) - you deserved it (7516)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:53am - misc - by deargodthepain (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47276) - you deserved it (5526)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

#21044324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47347) - you deserved it (5029)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

#21044260
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46307) - you deserved it (13848)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wrexham)

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

#20925494
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49833) - you deserved it (4375)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by O-|---<=~ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

#20919859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42631) - you deserved it (2903)

On 10/14/2013 at 6:38am - work - by Karansuni (woman) - Germany

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20590) - you deserved it (78105)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)



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