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Crowe_Dovahkiin's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by Steve / 04/28/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by mark807 / 04/28/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Bullocks / 04/27/2012 at 1:49am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I brought several bags of soda cans to the store to cash in. I hadn't shaved, and my coat had fur all over from my cat rubbing on it. The lady in front of me turned around, looked at my bags and me and said, "It's a lot of money people throw away, isn't it?" Apparently, I look homeless. FML
by AndyAnonymous / 04/26/2012 at 8:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by crazyk2468 / 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
by Jaclk / 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML
by hottygirl905 / 04/24/2012 at 7:50am / United States (Florida) / Health
by GogoTheGreat / 04/23/2012 at 10:12pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
by gottalovefriends / 04/23/2012 at 12:04am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/21/2012 at 10:50am / United States (Maryland) / Geek
by ajnmegs / 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by MI3 / 04/19/2012 at 3:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…
- Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to… Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they…