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Crowe_Dovahkiin's favorite FMLs
by Lizofsmeg / 05/11/2012 at 1:03am / United States / Love
by Jesse / 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by roomingwithevil / 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I got off the bus, I saw a girl counting her change making sure she had enough for the ride. Since it was my last stop for the day, I offered my day pass to her. She replied, "Get away, freak." FML
by calidreaming / 05/09/2012 at 10:40am / Japan (Osaka) / Miscellaneous
Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML
by gl0b3suck0r / 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Animals
by SomePeoplesKids / 05/08/2012 at 2:08am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm / United States / Money
by BTM13 / 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by mhm / 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work
by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
- Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just… Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that… Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious.…