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Crowe_Dovahkiin's favorite FMLs
by Discouraged / 05/31/2012 at 8:43am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 7:29am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 6:22am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML
by Getmeout / 05/31/2012 at 2:50am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML
by wtf / 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 1:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids
Today, I had to get the manager of a grocery store to explain to his employee how coupons work. The employee had refused to accept the coupons I was using, for fear that, "they will be deducted from my paycheck." FML
by brunurb / 05/29/2012 at 7:40am / United States (Massachusetts) / Money
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
by sopheeah / 05/29/2012 at 3:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML
by notnicefools / 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by dammit33 / 05/28/2012 at 9:55am / Australia (Victoria) / Money
by Ladieda / 05/28/2012 at 6:15am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML
by Broke / 05/28/2012 at 5:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
- Today, I found out what "supersoaked" means. I thought it meant getting shot by a water gun, which… Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be… Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on MSN, told me she'd "brb in 10,…