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Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19110) - you deserved it (1840)
On 06/10/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by eddie818 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18795) - you deserved it (1229)
On 06/09/2012 at 9:54am - health - by WTF (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17855) - you deserved it (1166)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm - kids - by TimeForAHairCut - United States (Oregon)
Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21992) - you deserved it (1105)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:13pm - misc - by somebody - United States (Maryland)
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24370) - you deserved it (3291)
On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18877) - you deserved it (2256)
On 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by BrianTheLion89 - United States
Today, my mother is trying to convince me to divorce my husband. He has a tattoo of a skull on his shoulder and she believes this means he kills people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18522) - you deserved it (2140)
On 06/06/2012 at 4:06am - love - by facepalm (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22209) - you deserved it (2296)
On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19140) - you deserved it (1302)
On 06/05/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20850) - you deserved it (1980)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16781) - you deserved it (1811)
On 06/03/2012 at 6:41pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24820) - you deserved it (1895)
On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I saw my reflection in the computer screen and I thought I looked quite nice. I tried to take a screenshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4772) - you deserved it (21337)
On 05/31/2012 at 11:25pm - misc - by Mikaela - United States
Today, I couldn't find my hairbrush anywhere; I ended up having to brush my hair with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14211) - you deserved it (4633)
On 05/31/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by jemila (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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