Crowe_Dovahkiin

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Crowe_Dovahkiin

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9224
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Crowe_Dovahkiin's page activity

Visits<b>german_boy97</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 12:13pm<b>rob02</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:45am<b>aw3som3sauc3</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:03pm<b>iNewKid</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 6:44pm<b>Antonia583</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 5:54pm<b>Dracoboxer357</b> - the 09/11/2012 at 12:27pm<b>kiwi2006</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 10:16am<b>olpally</b> - the 06/12/2012 at 4:26pm<b>PrimeEvilTahir</b> - the 06/05/2012 at 8:35am<b>perdix</b> - the 05/28/2012 at 8:20am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 04/05/2012 at 3:13am

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Crowe_Dovahkiin's favorite FMLs

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

by psychortiz / 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML

by ThanksMom / 06/02/2009 at 8:06am / United States (Indiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to a real Japanese restaurant with my sister and mom, where you had to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. After the meal, I realized my shoes were no longer where I put them. For the seven years the restaurant has been open, I'm the first person to get their shoes stolen. FML

by Jdub / 05/27/2009 at 8:51pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

by Sigh / 05/23/2009 at 1:50am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom and my step dad decided they're getting a divorce. They've been married for 2 weeks and I paid for a quarter of the wedding. FML

by disaster... / 05/20/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

by Sodge / 05/15/2009 at 6:20am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids who is allergic to peanuts went into anaphylactic shock. I ran and grabbed the boys eppe pen. I was holding it backwards so the injection went into my hand, causing me to pass out and both of us to be rushed to hospital. FML

by MC / 05/14/2009 at 10:11am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML

by qwerty / 05/05/2009 at 4:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML

by Sally256 / 05/03/2009 at 11:53am / United States (Maryland) / Animals

Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:06am / United States (Oregon) / Transportation

Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2009 at 7:36am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous