Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9952
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Crowe_Dovahkiin's page activity

Visits<b>german_boy97</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 12:13pm<b>rob02</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:45am<b>aw3som3sauc3</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:03pm<b>iNewKid</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 6:44pm<b>Antonia583</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 5:54pm<b>Dracoboxer357</b> - the 09/11/2012 at 12:27pm<b>kiwi2006</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 10:16am<b>olpally</b> - the 06/12/2012 at 4:26pm<b>PrimeEvilTahir</b> - the 06/05/2012 at 8:35am<b>perdix</b> - the 05/28/2012 at 8:20am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 04/05/2012 at 3:13am

Crowe_Dovahkiin's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Crowe_Dovahkiin's badges

Crowe_Dovahkiin's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

by SadDad / 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

by ewww / 08/26/2012 at 5:21am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML

by alix / 08/24/2012 at 11:45am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Animals

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

by Neurocardiogenic Syncope / 08/24/2012 at 12:08am / Canada / Health

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML

by tal / 08/22/2012 at 5:57am / France / Animals

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2012 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

by jenA / 08/21/2012 at 9:04am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I found myself trying to explain to my puppy why I'm still single. I think I just found out why. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 7:02pm / United States / Love

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health