Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Croquis

Offline (the 11/17/2015 at 8:07pm) | Search for a member

Croquis

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9098
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About Croquis : I enjoy things in an adjective nature.

Croquis's page activity

Visits<b>WyldStyle</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:12pm<b>SkipBeatOtaku</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:53pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 3:02am<b>October3461</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 3:56am<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 3:34pm<b>12asigo</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 8:25am<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 3:31pm<b>TitianSuperior</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 1:52am<b>anitriarose</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 1:01am<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 11:46pm<b>JustBeingAwesome</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 2:08pm<b>mamoudi</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 10:09am<b>fish_ster</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 11:26pm<b>wiseman02</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 1:15pm<b>Random_kid0718</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 9:23am<b>cakefete2</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 8:33am<b>icrysometimes_</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 7:21am<b>CordellSun</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 4:31am

Croquis's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Croquis's badges

Croquis's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

#20083352
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28890) - you deserved it (28537)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

#20076781
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20291) - you deserved it (22216)

On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML

#20076697
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25743) - you deserved it (2973)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:25pm - kids - by StupidBerk (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML

Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML

#20075771
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31262) - you deserved it (2390)

On 09/17/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by twinkletoes (woman) - United States

Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML

#20075041
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20828) - you deserved it (1972)

On 09/16/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by MyEarsHurt - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

#20074793
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27026) - you deserved it (2612)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

#20073337
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33449) - you deserved it (7208)

On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML

#20072649
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40685) - you deserved it (2259)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28868) - you deserved it (2916)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

#20072449
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (2571)

On 09/15/2012 at 1:35am - intimacy - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27902) - you deserved it (3163)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

#20071482
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17303) - you deserved it (28569)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML

#20071462
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29717) - you deserved it (2962)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by MexicanMe (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: