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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (2598)
On 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by HappinessOrOrgasms (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25583) - you deserved it (1537)
On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24248) - you deserved it (1831)
On 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by jeanrose2013 - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20941) - you deserved it (997)
On 10/16/2012 at 1:25pm - health - by hurtinrealbad - United States (Arizona)
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21235) - you deserved it (12001)
On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4595) - you deserved it (38983)
On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15455) - you deserved it (1288)
On 10/10/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by scaredofcutouts (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I completely shaved my head as a gesture for my boyfriend's mother, who was suffering from cancer and having a terrible time undergoing chemotherapy. Turns out she doesn't even have cancer, and my boyfriend thought I wouldn't have the guts to do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25650) - you deserved it (3460)
On 10/10/2012 at 11:05am - misc - by horriblejoke (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I got a text message from my boss that read, "You've been very bad. Severe punishment is in order." I'm not sure whether I should be turned on or terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15010) - you deserved it (1635)
On 10/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by whatadaydanny (man) - Dominica
Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20716) - you deserved it (3456)
On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6978) - you deserved it (32053)
On 10/10/2012 at 4:26am - love - by Toolate (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10569) - you deserved it (42382)
On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25717) - you deserved it (2426)
On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14728) - you deserved it (1099)
On 10/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24131) - you deserved it (1447)
On 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm - love - by jack - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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