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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44677) - you deserved it (26610)
On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49992) - you deserved it (5917)
On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40131) - you deserved it (4557)
On 05/27/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by mustache girl - Canada (Quebec)
Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41240) - you deserved it (3446)
On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my husband of 12 years has been sleeping with my best friend of even longer for who knows how long. She actually tried to turn it around on me and implied that it was my fault for finding out about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48914) - you deserved it (2573)
On 05/27/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by wow (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45941) - you deserved it (20988)
On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38535) - you deserved it (6325)
On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51137) - you deserved it (3167)
On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38224) - you deserved it (2418)
On 05/25/2013 at 1:09am - work - by mmmretail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31535) - you deserved it (15032)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37012) - you deserved it (6669)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:40am - love - by BellinaNico (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39898) - you deserved it (7181)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51587) - you deserved it (3811)
On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)
Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10450) - you deserved it (90356)
On 05/23/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by faitoh - United Kingdom (Lisburn)
Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37584) - you deserved it (2157)
On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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